Uh Oh...

Last night was definitely a experience and a half.
My night consisted of:
Moody (PMT) taxi driver. Who demanded more money after dropping us at the wrong place.
15 minute walk to where we originally wanted to go!
Sheep with woolly bollocks possibly the size of my head (I'm not even kidding)
The most compact and tiniest, lowest ceilinged farm house ever known to man.
Someone's mothers vagina cream. (stops itching and irritation FAST!) - used as hand cream.
Half naked swimming in a paddling pool at 3am. - incredibly cold
Kong Fu fighting.
One single bed, a mattress and itchy double bed between 9.

Being a tall claustrophobic in a hot and junk filled, low ceilinged, and wall eating house... Definitely a bad idea.
My stomach hurts from laughter. As soon as we arrive we really don't know what else to do.. But laugh in hysterics. The farm animals are growling and moaning. My palms are sweating. My cheeks are hurting, and I need a alcoholic beverage.  The wine definitely helps the situation.
We come across a range of hysterical items including.. Hundreds of thousands of Pokamon cards, (and I means hundreds of thousands!) Blood stained sheets. Holes in walls (in the strangest of places). Sticky carpets, and the largest tube of vagina cream (ever). Oh I really don't think I have ever been in so much pain from laughter. I beg for the hysterics to stop. Totally waisted at this point. We decided to take a dip in the pool (when I say pool.. I mean above average size paddling pool) Clothes off. Entire body in. Bad idea. I could have sworn my heart stopped beating. I do not think I have ever been that cold in my entire life. Pins and needles shoot up my legs and arms. It felt as if the blood in my body was freezing by the second. I couldn't get out quick enough.
Had enough of the cold and the farm animals, the sticky socks and banging my head on the incredibly low ceilings. 4am I hit the sheets to secure a space in the itchy double bed. My head throbs. Ouch. Eventful night.